Preheat your oven to 350°F (175°C) and prepare a 9x9 inch pan by lining it with parchment paper.

In a food processor, pulse the Earl Grey tea and culinary lavender until finely ground, then sift the mixture.

In a medium bowl, whisk together the all-purpose flour, ground tea and lavender, baking powder, baking soda, and salt.

Using an electric mixer, beat the softened unsalted butter and granulated sugar together until pale and fluffy.

Beat in the eggs, one at a time, followed by the vanilla bean paste until the batter is smooth.

Gradually add the buttermilk and the dry flour mixture to the wet ingredients, alternating between the two.

Pour the batter into your prepared pan and spread it evenly. Bake for 30-35 minutes until a toothpick comes out clean.

Heat the whole milk until steaming, add the reserved tea and lavender mixture, steep for 15 minutes, strain, and mix with sweetened condensed milk.

In a large bowl, beat the cold cream cheese until fluffy, then gradually mix in powdered sugar, ground lavender, and vanilla bean paste until smooth.

Once the cake has cooled, trim the top for evenness, poke holes, soak it with the milk mixture, and frost with the lavender cream cheese frosting.